'/> Uncommon Hours: Cheney confesses!
Blogging on culture, politics, and the environment since 2008.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Cheney confesses!

An Uncommon Hours exclusive!

In a stunning turn of events former Vice President Dick Cheney advised the Attorney General that he’s ready to sign a confession for war crimes, violations of the Geneva Convention, domestic spying, and a wide range of criminal actions in exchange for leniency.

Uncommon Hours has learned that Cheney will turn state’s evidence against most of the Neocons in the Bush administration who promoted the Iraq War under false pretenses, including Donald Rumsfeld, Douglas Feith, Richard Perle, Condoleezza Rice and Paul Wolfowitz. He also blamed Scooter Libby for blowing the cover off a plot to have former Ambassador Joe Wilson renditioned to Gitmo and force-fed yellow cake for six months.

We have further learned that Cheney feared that precedents set during his time in office, including waterboarding, would be used by the Obama administration in its zeal to bring these war criminals to justice. A high-level source who requested anonymity also revealed that Cheney requested to have his prison location blotted from Google Earth and to be supplied with a complete set of his wife’s erotic writings.
Cheney claimed that his biggest challenge in developing strategies to violate the Constitution was getting Bush to read it. Among the documents Cheney is turning over to the AG is a story-book version of the Constitution written by his wife for the former President, who Cheney said, according to our source, spent most of his days alone in the Oval Office watching reruns of Wanted, Dead or Alive.


Happy April 1st!

No comments:

Post a Comment